At that young age, her mom helped her say the words of the familiar bedtime prayer “Now I lay me down to sleep...” Now, her calm, even voice recited the syllables from memory as her mom lay passed out in the other room.“I pray the Lord my soul to keep...” The teen’s eyes were focused on the crucifix hung above the head of her four-poster canopy bed, its frilly pink accoutrements framing the religious icon with an innocent sensuality.“If I should die before I wake...” As she said these words, a shiver passed through Jenny’s young body as it often did. Images of her dead body, strangled with blue-black bruises on her white throat; or slashed and bloody, her mouth parted in a wordless cry of terror, her bright blue eyes staring sightlessly. As her body reacted to her mind’s morbid imaginings, another set of eyes watched her.“I pray the Lord my soul to take.” These eyes were outside Jenny’s bedroom window, and they belonged to Jarrod, a 36-year-old CPA who lived down the block. When he. I, on the other hand, had none of her celestial self-possession. If I let it happen this way, at least let it happen without a fight, I knew some awful, aching part of me would forever feel cheapened, and degraded by it. Like a prostitute by proxy. I breathed in deep, and shut my eyes. I, too, knew how to be stubborn.“No,” my fists closed.“No?”“No,” I said it again, “I-I just—I don’t want to give them to you.”“To me?” his tone was cool, and searching.“To anyone,” I breathed out. “It’s a... a self-respect thing.”Slowly, I reopened my eyes. He wasn’t glaring at me dead-on anymore. His gaze had drifted lower, and my face caught fire. For a second, I thought he’d stolen the chance to check out my chest.“That’s quite a scar,” he scowled at my shoulder, “Open reduction. Double-plate fixation,” He glanced up, “You could’ve lost your arm.”By reflex, my hand snapped to my shoulder, trying to hide it. He cocked his head, looking wolfish.“How did it break?”Are you fucking kidding me?“Does it.
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